Tribute: Birth to Demise – A Mother and her Son
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, NLT)
Our mom, Essie Mae Brown-Chever, was born August 5th….our brother, William Louis Chever Jr., transitioned August 6th. As I think about the relationship between the two, the dates do not surprise me. Mom and Billy shared a special bond filled with love, protection and similarities. It seemed as if Billy was waiting to greet Mom on her birthday before deciding to join her. This occurrence, transitioning the day after Mom’s birthday, is also why the pain at my core is hauntingly surrounded by an intense sense of love and peace.
As this love and peace combines with gratitude, the intenseness increases. I feel rich…not the richness found in material possessions. But a richness found in a love that deepens over time.
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” (Proverbs 22:6, NLT)
Growing up, we were taught to look out for one another. Billy looked out for all of us, three sisters, Arie, Alice and me, all older than him and one younger brother, Bobby. But, when it came to protection, Mom was number 1 on his list.
Mom worked the 11:00pm – 7:00am shift at Bayfront Hospital. Every night of work, Billy stayed up, walked mom out to the car, opened her car door, closed it and then waited outside until mom drove out of sight. He was a teenager.
Their bond was evident. They were alike in many ways.
Reading. Cooking. Family
Mom instilled in us the love of reading and learning. The Golden Book Encyclopedia from the A & P Store, Readers Digest, National Geographic, were a mainstay in our home. Billy didn’t go to kindergarten, but he could read when he started first grade. Mom loved the news, reading about it and watching it. She was versed in what was happening locally and internationally. Billy loved watching the news; I remember him reading two newspapers daily.
Mom said one of the greatest ways to show love is through cooking. Both Mom and Billy were great cooks. Some of Mom’s specialties were neckbones and rice, tea cakes, cat heads (biscuits) and 7-up pound cakes. I can see Mom now looking at her pound cake smiling … the cake must have a smooth texture without holes. Billy’s specialties were macaroni and cheese, smoked turkey, smoked mullets, and bread pudding. While I was home, pregnant on bedrest, Billy came over with the best macaroni and cheese I had ever tasted. I ate the entire casserole… probably why I gained 50 lbs. during the pregnancy, but that is another story.
Family, however, was most important to both. The “celebration” stuff and the “just life” stuff
. The “celebration” stuff was spending time together. Mom had picnics at Fort Desoto and Thanksgiving family dinners. Billy called, visited and celebrated special occasions with family members. I remember him taking off work, driving from St. Petersburg to Newberry, Florida to attend Angel’s (his God daughter) middle school graduation, then taking her out to lunch afterwards. He had a knack for making others feel special.
The “just life” stuff was differences in opinions. When I think about Mom and Billy’, we did not always see things eye to eye. But that was okay. Our differences never divided us. In many ways, our differences created a deeper bond of mutual respect and love. Mom’s famous words were “there’s always two sides to a story.” Billy ‘s words were also profound but flavored with a few expletives. Those who knew Billy, know what I mean.
Thinking about birth to death, Mom to Billy, I realize what matters most. Family and love embedded in precious memories do not fade…they only become more precious over time.
God, thank You for precious memories that create a bond with our loved ones that never die, but are birthed over and over again. Amen
8 Comments
Hermon Williams
Sounds like my FAMILY, LOVE YALL. How did you all weather the Storm
Mary Chever-Watson
Hello Hermon, thank you so much. Yes we are and always will be family. Thankful, to report we are fine. Lots of wind, lots of rain. Lost power for a few hours but it’s back on now and all is well. Love you, our forever family.
Arie Chever McBride
Mary,thank you so very much for writing about some of the wonderful memories of Mom and Billy,a very special tribute to loved ones,I miss so very much. I feel the same way as you in reference to Billy’s transition..He was definitely a protector of us all and Mom’s love was unconditional,they were the best cooks,each with their own special dishes. Mom made the best Caramel Cake ever,so sorry I don’t have her recipes,Billy made the best smoked fish,that I did get the recipe for an Kris makes it….I feel so very blessed and grateful to have had the very best Mom and brother.
Thanks again Sis..I love you🥰🙏🏾
Mary Chever-Watson
Arie, thank you so much for your beautiful words. I know we are better people because of Mom and Billy. Yes, they were great cooks. I totally forgot about Mom’s caramel cake. I don’t have her layer cake recipe which she made from scratch but, I do have her recipe for the caramel frosting which I will give to you. So thankful, Kris has Billy’s smoked fish recipe…maybe she can give us all a smoking lesson. Arie, you are very welcome. Love you, too!!!
Alice Chever
Mary, thank you so very much!
I’m always amazed at how connected we are. You can actually “feel” me. What a blessing!…and I appreciate you.
I had been in a “cloudy,”..melancholy mood for the past few days. Little energy, praying that God would infuse me with the strength I needed to complete small tasks.
Happy tears welled up in my eyes when I read “Tribute to Mother and her son”
Exactly, what I needed!..Not only did I get more clarity, re: The cloudy mood, but now I know how to deal with it. I allow the feelings to flow and I am filled to the “brim”, with Love, grace and gratitude for having been privileged and blessed enough to have a Mother and brother like we had!
Thank you again Mary, my beautiful sister. Well done indeed!
Our memories are for all eternity.
Much love and always many blessings.
Your admiring sister. Alice Chever Pickett
Mary Chever-Watson
Alice, thank you so much for your kind words. You are so very welcome. I am so thankful my words lifted your spirit. And, yes, we always have been connected and always will be. We have been blessed with having Billy and Mom ingrained in us. Love you too!!!
Precious colclough
Hi Mary, it’s amazing how I see God using you in ways you may not realize to enourage, uplift & inspire our family with all the special memories & events that have taken place in our family’s life! The painful events are not as painful when you share them the way you do, reminding us always of how blessed we are to have such a loving, supporting & caring family who were/ are so gifted & anointed! Thank you Mary!
Love you always & Thank God for your courage to share because it’s not always easy to do but I believe as you allow God to have you be so transparent, we all able to move forward with a smile on our face & joy in our heart! ❤️
Mary Chever-Watson
Precious, your words are healing balm for my spirit. Your words are a gift from God telling me my writing has a purpose which encourages me to continue. I love to write and share how God has not only blessed me and my immediate family but how He blesses all of us as a family. God has blessed me to see the ordinary, the good, the painful, through “God’s lens.” I try to always remember all things come from God…even the not so good things can be seen in a positive light when viewed with God at the center.
Thank you so much for “giving me my flowers while I can still smell them;” also one of Mom’s sayings or as Billy called them “Essieisms.”
Love you very much!!!