“You will succeed in whatever you choose to do, and light will shine on the road ahead of you.” Job 22:28 (NLT)
Sitting in the waiting room during Larry’s MRI, thoughts swirl in my head….” Well, God it looks like the trip I was so excited about is not going to happen.” The words slipped out of my mouth. I did not even bother to look around to see if anyone heard me talking to myself. Being concerned about what others think was the last thing on my mind. At that moment, my disappointment and Larry’s MRI results was all that mattered.
Slowly, I opened the devotionals I bought to read during the wait. Two scriptures appeared:
“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians 2:4 (NLT).
“God, you know I really wanted to go on that trip. I looked forward to just sitting and looking at the water enjoying family and friends. I counted on Larry fishing with Joe. I counted on being away from appointments and diagnoses. God, now, I feel tired, and I feel like crying. But, in my heart, I know Larry’s health must come first.” I sigh and read the next scripture:
“Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name.” Hebrews 13:15 (NLT)
“God, I have to be honest. I don’t feel like praising. No trip. Possible surgery.” I know I should meet this situation with praise. But, I don’t feel it. “God, I know we are still so blessed. But I need You to help me with this.” I close my eyes, take a deep breath; breathe in and out. Nothing comes. After a few inhales and exhales, a barely audible .. “I praise You God” slips out. Then, slowly, “God, thank You, the doctors are getting to us so quickly…. Thank You, Larry is still walking…. Thank You, we have excellent medical insurance and provisions…. Thank You, we can see, talk, breathe freely…. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! Praise Your Holy Name.”
The MRI results are ready. We see Larry’s neurosurgeon tomorrow, September 3rd.
God, I trust You. You know me inside and out, so I will not make excuses for my disappointment. I thank You for sending me guidance through Your scriptures. Thank You for putting praise in my mouth when I do not feel it. So, I praise You, when praise is a struggle. I praise You, in the middle of disappointments. I praise You, when fear steps in. I praise You.
Slowly, the disappointment fades, replaced by gratitude that this happened now before our 3000-mile trip.
God, thank You. You know my disappointments, my struggles, my shortcomings. You give me love, guidance, support, and provisions above and beyond. Praise Your Holy Name.