I Fell Yesterday

“We all make many mistakes.  If people never said anything wrong, they would be perfect and able to control their entire selves, too.” James 3: 2 (NCV)

Lord knows, I’m not perfect. I slipped and fell yesterday.  Not in the physical sense, but I’m not sure what sense it was.  The more I think about it, I slipped into nonsense.  This is what happened.  The day started out beautifully.  I sipped on Pu-Erh tea, read devotionals on the front porch.  My daughter, Angel, joined me before she started working at the dining room table.  My husband, Larry, had gone to mow a lawn.  Rise, our dog was outside.  Perfect right?  Then, a horn blew, I went outside; it was the mail carrier, a new one, who doesn’t know Rise barks, then runs in the opposite direction.  Well, I went out, smiling, ready to get the mail and she yelled, “I’m not getting outta’ here with that dog.” I smiled and said, “It’s okay, he will go in the opposite direction.”  She repeated, “I’m not getting outta’ here with that dog.”  So, I said, “ma’am calm down.” In retrospect, I realized this was the worst thing I could have said. The last thing an upset person wants to hear is “calm down.” I, then, went over to Rise and held him by his collar.  Again, she yelled; “I’m not getting outta’ here with him there; I have to get the package from the back.” I looked at her; tugged Rise to take him in the house.  That rascal pulled away and starting barking again.  Then she said, “I’ll leave your package at the end of the driveway.”  She turned the van around, headed out the yard, down the driveway.  I followed her, looking back to see if Rise followed. He hadn’t.  She got to the end of the driveway and stopped.  I rushed, thinking she was getting the package.  But, no, she turned to the right, whipped in front of the mailbox, tossed in a piece of paper, looked at me and said, “I’m not getting out of the car with that dog, you can go to the post office and get your package.”  She sped away, spraying dust in my face. I stood with my mouth open.  Then I heard the b-word.  Slowly, I walked back to the house, shaking my head wandering what just happened. In minutes I’d gone from sipping a nice cup of tea, reading my devotionals on the front porch to spitting dust and the b-word out of my mouth.  Yes, the b-word I heard had come from me.  And, to be honest, as I wiped the dust from my face, I felt good.  The more I walked, sense slipped back in and nonsense eased out.  I took a deep breath.

Then, it came to me.  Relentless faith is not about falling into nonsense.  It’s now that I’ve fallen what am I going to do to get out of it?  To me, relentless faith is not about being perfect.  It’s about being honest about my imperfections.  It doesn’t help to beat up on myself about something said or done.  I said it. I did it. But, what can I do now to fall out of this nonsense, this madness.  Sometimes, I believe it’s best to let it go; bless and release.  Other times, I believe action is needed. But to be honest, when this happened, the words of my now deceased brother, Bobby,  came to mind. I could hear him say, “I ain’t ‘bout it.”  Well, that’s how I felt; “I ain’t ‘bout it today.”

But reality slipped in as I admitted, “I want my package.”  So, whether I wanted to or not; “I had to be ‘bout it.” So, I got the slip from the mailbox and went online to request re-delivery.  But there was no record of the number I entered.  I called the post office, told them the mail carrier didn’t leave my package because of our dog; I wasn’t able to request re-delivery online.  He said the carrier would bring the package back today.  I asked, “is it was our regular carrier or the new carrier?”  He said, “the new carrier” I sighed, said, “please let her know the dog will be inside. Ask her to blow her horn; I will come get the package.”

So, here I am, still waiting for that package; it’s 1:51 pm.  Come back tomorrow and I will let you know what happened.

God, show me how to stay out of nonsense.  Maybe there is a blessing hidden in this. I don’t see it.  But if it is, please show it to me. Amen.  Also, God, bless mail carriers everywhere. Amen, again.