“Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile…’ ”
Mark 6:31 (NLT)
I have been in a fog for a while. I wanted to get away from everything, the news, the pandemic, the sadness, the deaths. I wanted to clear my head; find my joy, my peace, again. So, for the past few months, I have been rooted in my favorite chair on the front porch. Most days, I sit down around 11:00 am with a mind to read my devotionals, pray, meditate. I always have a list of “to do’s” I want to tackle after my readings. Well, 2:00 pm rolls around and I am still sitting in that same spot. Meditation, prayer, long over. “What is wrong with me?”, I ponder. I’m in pain, but I don’t feel a physical hurt. It is something deeper, something I cannot put my finger on. I feel down, but I cannot pinpoint where these low spirits are coming from. All I know is I need a strong dose of energy and power to fill my entire body. I need a soothing touch to cool my throbbing head and a powerful hand to heal my mind, body, and spirit. I need a fresh dose of something to give me the strength, motivation, focus to do what needs to be done. To move; just get up, put one foot in front of the other. To move, in spite of illnesses, deaths and challenges. A few days ago, I was finally able to do this; I moved! Then, it dawned on me what happened. Those months of sitting allowed God to fill me up.
During this time, I seldom checked my emails, did not check Facebook. Did it help? I believe so. Getting away from the busyness kept me in a calm place. Those hours sitting in my chair allowed God to give me the soothing touch, the peace I craved. I didn’t even realize what was happening. Is it over? I am claiming it is. But, if it returns, I will not be afraid. I will get quiet. It may be uncomfortable. In time, it will pass. I am learning once again to stop leaning on my own understanding. I need to lean on God.
If I feel weary tomorrow, next week or next month, I can come away again. My joy, peace, enthusiasm will return. If He did it one time or a hundred times, He will do it again. I hold onto God’s promises.
Heavenly Father, dealing with Covid-19, politics, racial unrest, sickness, deaths is challenging. As soon as I think things are settling down, I get news of another illness, another death, media craziness; mind-boggling. So many things I do not understand. But I do what I can, then wait and allow You to do things in Your time, in Your way. God, give me patience, wisdom, trust to say again and again, “You alone are in control. With You, all things work out for good. I may not see it at the moment, but I pray in time I will.” Thank You God!! Amen, Amen, Amen.